The Sound of Silence
by CharmedMummy
Summary: Don Flack could do nothing but walk through the rain and listen to the sound of silence in his ears.  Part of my Everything Old is New Again series.


**AN:** This story is part of my "Everything Old is New Again" series. For details on where it fits into the series, please see my profile page.

I'm trying a different kind of format for this story than what I usually do, but hopefully it works and is easy to follow and understand. The story's title comes from the Simon and Garfunkel song "The Sound of Silence" and the tone of the story is also heavily influenced by the song, so if you're not familiar with it you might want to look it up and listen to it.

Thanks as always to **Kerry Blue** who is awesome and finding my mistakes and making my writing better.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _CSI:NY_ in any capacity and I also do not own the song "The Sound of Silence" in any way nor any other work by Simon and Garfunkel.

* * *

He had no conscious thought beyond putting one foot in front of the other. All he knew was that he couldn't stay in their…his…apartment another minute. He didn't even register the looks he got as he headed outside into the pouring rain without an umbrella. If he was up to thinking he might consider the rain an appropriate weather choice for this day, but he wasn't about to start thinking. Thinking meant remembering and remembering only led to pain. And yet the pain came anyway… 

"_You're not seriously going to wear that tie, are you?" Don looked up from the bagel he was eating and the newspaper he was reading to see his pregnant…girlfriend, though that seemed like such an inadequate word, leaning against the kitchen doorway._

"_What's wrong with my tie? This is one of my favorites."_

_Kaile Maka smirked. "You're supposed to project confidence to the jury, make them believe in what you're telling them. That tie will just make them think you're at best fashion-challenged and color-blind and at worst lacking of any common sense and not worth listening to."_

"_Sheesh, Kaile, you'd think I never managed to put a perp behind bars before I dated you." Don smiled, not taking the criticism of his wardrobe too hard. If he had gotten upset every time someone, especially Maka, made fun of his choice in ties, his life would have been one argument after another. And he sure as hell wouldn't be expecting a child with this woman and thinking that he could spend the rest of his life with her if something small like that bothered him._

"_Wonders will never cease," Maka threw back at him. She walked over to the fridge and opened it to scan what was inside. "Just enough milk left in here to have my cereal," she commented, pulling out the plastic container and setting it on the counter and getting out the other necessary supplies for making her breakfast._

"_Yeah, I'll pick some up after work, though that might be a little late. I have no idea how long I'll have to wait at the courthouse today until it's my turn to testify."_

"_That's no problem, I'm off today, I can get it." Kaile was still working, just over six weeks from her due date, though "working" was a loose term in her book. More and more each day she was glad she chose to have the child she was carrying, but Maka missed being out on the streets. Sitting behind a desk and doing paperwork and making phone calls was not why she had wanted to become a homicide detective._

"_You sure? Because it's not a problem." Don did his best to not step on her independence, but it was hard for him sometimes to squash his ingrained protective streak for people he cared about in general and the woman who was going to be the mother of his child specifically._

"_Yeah, I'll get it. It'll give me a reason to get out of the apartment and get some exercise. And I heard the weather is supposed to turn bad tonight and stay that way for awhile, so it's probably my last chance to get a walk in for a bit."_

"_Okay." He glanced at his watch. "I better get going, I want to get a few things done before I need to head to the courthouse to do a whole lot of nothing until I testify." He stood and walked over to Kaile. "I'll call later if I get a chance." He leaned down, only slightly since Maka wasn't much shorter than he was, and gave her a kiss. Reaching down to rub his hand over her stomach, he smiled. "If the kid gives you any trouble, tell 'em I'll deal with 'em when I get home."_

_Kaile laughed. "I'll do that, I'm sure the threat will work wonders."_

_Don grabbed his gun, his badge and his suit jacket and headed for the front door. He turned when he heard his name being called. "Yeah?"_

"_You might want to take a coat for the rain." Kaile opened the hall closet and pulled out his long coat. "It's not supposed to turn rainy until sometime late tonight, but it never hurts to be prepared."_

_Don opened his eyes wide in mock horror. "Who are you and what have you done with my ass-kicking and taking names girlfriend?"_

_Said ass-kicker rolled her eyes. "You went and got her pregnant and now she can't even see her feet to do any ass-kicking, though she just might try if you keep this up." Don grinned, took the coat she held out to him and gave her one last goodbye kiss. "Later," he said as he walked out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him._

A car making a turn passed its headlights over Flack and the flash of light to his eyes was enough to bring him back to the present. He became aware of his surroundings again and realized that he was across the street from the corner market that he had frequented ever since he had lived in his current apartment.

Normally this time of night it would be dark and locked up, the metal grate pulled down to deter looters. But now all the lights inside were blazing and various people milled about the store that was surrounded by yellow crime scene tape. There were even a couple of news crews there, as close as they could get without getting yelled at by a uniformed cop, shooting footage for their morning shows in a few hours. No doubt they thought this was very compelling television for their viewers. But Donald Flack, Jr. was so numb at this point that not even that could get him up in arms.

Despite all the activity, Flack heard nothing but the pounding of the rain. Turning away from the store, he turned up his collar and continued down the street, just listening to the water hitting the ground which was the only thing that could break through the sound of silence in his ears…

_Don tried to not let on to the jury that anything was out of the ordinary when a bailiff came forward to talk briefly with the judge. He didn't know what was going on, but mostly he was just annoyed because he wanted to get his testimony over with and they had barely started. But then both the bailiff and the judge glanced at Don and suddenly he felt like there was something going on, something that involved him and something he was probably not going to like at all. The judge called a recess, reminded Flack that he was still under oath when they eventually resumed, and then the bailiff came over to Don. "Detective Taylor is out in the hall, says he needs to talk to you."_

_Flack got up and headed out of the witness box and down the aisle to the big, wooden doors leading out to the hallway. He had never been called out of the witness box in the middle of testifying, so whatever this was couldn't be good. _Oh, God, Kaile didn't go into premature labor, did she? _But when he left the courtroom and caught sight of Mac's face he knew it was going to be much, much worse than that. The older man did the best he could to soften the blow, but there was no way really to do that with something like this. "There was a robbery…guy got spooked…just started shooting…Kaile's on her way to Queen of Mercy…I don't know anything else yet…" Don heard the words but wasn't really listening, only catching bits here and there. This couldn't be happening, he had just seen Kaile a little while ago, was planning on bringing her something nice for dinner when he got through testifying._

_Don shook his head, forcing himself to concentrate. Mac hadn't said she was dead, he said she was shot and on the way to Queen of Mercy. There was a difference. "Let's go," he said, heading swiftly down the hall. There was still hope. Don himself had made it through a situation that looked hopeless; Mac had tied his insides together with shoelaces for God's sake. Kaile was going to be fine. She had to be._

He passed by ten thousand people, maybe more, never really seeing any of them. The rain had started falling even harder if that was even possible, or maybe it was just the roaring in his ears that was louder. Stuffing his hands further into his pockets he picked up his pace, not that he had anywhere to be. He just felt the need to move, to continue moving, to somehow get away from the memories whispering in the silence in his head…

"_Don. Don." Flack finally looked up at his best friend, not knowing how many times the other man had said his name. It was likely that it been more than once or twice given the look that Danny and Sheldon shared briefly._

"_Yeah?" His hand still held hers, searching vainly for any warmth it could find, for the warmth that was rapidly fading from her body. He didn't know how long he had been standing here in the emergency room just looking at her, touching her, as if that could somehow bring her back. He hadn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye. She had been gone before he and Mac had made it to the hospital._

"_You want to stay with us tonight? Lindsay would like to see you."_

_Don felt bad, even though he knew that was the furthest from what his friends had intended. Lindsay was only about two weeks from her due date and she had been put on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy, or he was sure she would be here now. God, he hoped she didn't have any problems because of all of this. But even as he worried about her and knew that seeing him would probably help her, he couldn't see her right now. She would just make him think about what he had lost._

_Though he hadn't lost everything. At some point after he had arrived he had been told that his daughter had been taken upstairs to the NICU since she was six weeks premature. Kaile had evidently held on just long enough for the baby to be taken out via emergency c-section. She had even made sure to whisper to a nurse that he was the father, that the name on the birth certificate should be his, since they weren't married and his parental rights would be a little tenuous without that certification. But he just couldn't think about that right now. He just couldn't. That was supposed to be __**their**__ child, the one they had made together and would raise together. How in the hell was he supposed to be a single father? It was beyond comprehension._

"_Don?" Flack refocused on his friend, realizing that he had left the other man hanging._

"_Sorry, you guys. No, I'll be okay." He looked down at the still form on the hospital bed. "I…I'll be okay." Maybe repeating that would make it true somewhere in the distant future, but he doubted it. Somehow he doubted that he would ever really be okay again._

He was surprised to find himself standing in front of Queen of Mercy. Was he here to see her again? But she had likely been taken to the morgue. And that was something he couldn't think about right now, that Hammerback would be conducting an autopsy on her. It was better to just not think and let his feet continue to do his thinking for him.

A short time later he ended up outside of the NICU. He looked through the windows, not knowing exactly what he was looking for since he hadn't laid eyes on his daughter yet. A nurse walked up to him with a wary look, probably wondering why someone would come in dripping wet to stare at newborns. "Sir, is there something I can help you with?"

Don glanced over at her. "My…my daughter…" God, he almost choked on the damn word. "My daughter was brought here earlier. Her mother…she was born six weeks premature."

The nurse's eyes widened in recognition and concern and sympathy came into them. "Would you like to come in and see her?"

He hesitated. Did he want to see her? Maybe he did. His conscious thought didn't really like the idea, but something had obviously driven him here. "Yeah."

"Let me get you something dry to wear first." The nurse walked away, coming back in a few moments with some clothes that looked like surgeon's scrubs. He took the garments wordlessly and headed towards a nearby bathroom. Once inside he set the dry clothes on a counter and, as he took off his coat and began to unbutton his shirt, he looked at himself in the mirror. He barely recognized the man staring back at him. No wonder Hawkes had looked so worried…

_They didn't talk the entire ride. When Danny and Sheldon had finally managed to get Don to leave Kaile's side, he had said that he just wanted to go home. Maybe it was a need to feel near to her, to touch her things. Maybe he just needed to go back to the last place where life had been good, where he had kissed her goodbye as he left for work. Whatever the reason, he just wanted to go back._

_He would have just walked, but his friends wouldn't allow that. Sheldon offered to drive so that Danny could go home and update Lindsay. Mac and Stella had been by at some point, but they were hot on the trail of Kaile's killer, so it fell to Sheldon to watch over Flack._

_Fortunately Hawkes was good at letting silence go on undisturbed. He didn't try and make Don talk or even fill the quiet with inane conversation. He just let the silence echo in the car._

_Don didn't even realize they were stopped until Hawkes called his name. He mumbled a thanks before opening the car door. Hawkes stopped him with a hand on his arm. Flack met the worry in the other man's eyes. Sheldon talked, but the words didn't really make it into Don's consciousness. Eventually he realized that Sheldon was worried about leaving him alone, especially with his service weapon still on his hip. Sluggishly, like he was moving through water, Don unclipped his gun and handed it over and vaguely reassured the good doctor that he would be fine. He felt Hawkes' eyes on his back as he got out of the vehicle and headed inside._

_For awhile he just stood in the living room, not really seeing anything, just absorbing it all. He wandered through the apartment, spending time in each room, even the bathroom where her shampoo still took up space in the shower, her blow dryer out on the counter like she had forgotten to put it away after using it that morning._

_He eventually found himself in their bedroom. And after a bit his eyes fell on something that his friends and colleagues had overlooked. They had made sure to take his weapon, but no one had remembered that Kaile had one too. And Flack knew the combination to the lockbox that held it._

He must have taken too long because the same nurse that had talked to him earlier now poked her head into the men's restroom. "Are you okay, sir?"

Don turned. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine." He gathered up his wet clothes. "Do you have anywhere I could put this stuff?"

"I'll take it for you, put it in a bag for when you leave." She led him out of the bathroom and over to the doors of the NICU. "Your daughter has been a little fussy since she arrived, so don't be surprised if she cries." As they entered the room filled with the sounds of machines and babies, the woman pointed to a nearby rocking chair. "Why don't you sit there and I'll bring her over?"

Don did as she suggested and soon was being presented with his daughter. He had held babies before, both on the job and off, but this time was different. Everything was just…different. From his first glimpse of her face it was like something inside of him shifted, a hole was filled, and he suddenly felt like maybe things really could, someday, be at least somewhat okay.

Apparently his daughter felt the same way. She had been fussing and crying until she was put into his arms. Now she looked up at him, quiet and seemingly content to just stare at him. The two of them just watched each other, softly rocking in the chair, the world fading around them, the silence now not such a bad thing.

"What's her name?"

Don looked up to find the nurse watching them, smiling at the picture of father-daughter bonding. "Excuse me?"

"Her name. We never got a name for her, so we don't have anything to put on the birth certificate. Also, we like to have names to call the babies in here. It makes things more personal while we take care of them."

Don looked down at his daughter. Most of the past day or so he hadn't been able to think very much, but this decision didn't require any thought at all. "Kaile," he whispered, gazing at the infant in his arms. "Her name is Kaile Maka Flack."


End file.
